Night One is going okay? I have a little headache situation going on which is lovely but I decided to take to the bathtub for some relaxation. I am currently soaking in a yellow luster filled LUSH bath whilst eating tajin covered pineapple chunks with a long wooden shish kabob skewer, and in this moment- I’ve realized things could be SO much worse. Yes, the cravings were bad tonight. Yes, there was legit a little voice in my head saying “A couple shots won’t hurt”. Which I responded to with “Hmmm, yes bitch, a couple shots WILL hurt because I don’t stop at a couple!”. And yesssss, I wanted to drink with practically every fiber of my being. But I didn’t. 

I did however create this blog, help my dad make some reservations for his upcoming trip, drink lots of water to stay hydrated, tidy the house, pack my son’s lunch the night before, eat a yummy dinner, and take this bath.. All things I would not have done if I had drank tonight. 

However, I didn’t touch my late assignments that I REALLLLY really need to complete for my courses. I got behind due to missing class due to- you guessed it, drinking. Instead of tackling the task one assignment at a time, I look at alllllll of the work and get so anxious and overwhelmed that I don’t do any. Or worse yet– I will drink because I just can’t cope. 

I have like a 3.79 GPA..I have maintained this fairly easily as I feel I am good at what I am studying. However this quarter isn’t looking too great on my transcript and it’s really all my own fault. I’m going to try to finish this quarter strong and then never ever ever get this far behind again!

Alcohol withdrawal symptoms that I’m feeling so far are the headache (which feels very similar to a hangover headache) and my hands are just barely shaking as I type this. Still in the early stages anyways. It’s been 11 hours since I dropped down 7 shots of whiskey back to back to back. Literally shuddered just now thinking of the way that tastes first thing in the morning. It’s not good.

I don’t really remember the last time I went to bed sober. I believe it was several months ago and I believe I was up all night sweating, drenching my clothes even- and then having to get up to change because the wet clothes clung to my body and I would shiver so bad it would wake me up. I hope tonight is better but I’m not counting on it. 

Hopefully this bath plus melatonin and my favorite blanket will do the trick to help me sleep okay. I think I will also defuse some lavender and Roman chamomile to get the dreamy vibes going in my room.

Tomorrow is a school day and it will be really nice to a) show up and to b) not be even slightly hungover. 

Goodnight world.